Waiting on a Military Miracle

New sheets, new color on the toes, same crap going on.

Some days I feel like there's so much going on around me that I can't move for fear of being tossed into some sort of tornado mass that is my life... and other times... it's like there's absolutely nothing going on and the silence is deafening. I don't know what is going to happen this year, and I don't know how I'm going to handle it. I just try to look up and look forward. it's all I can do.

we've only been apart a month (well, a month in a few days) and it feels like it's already been a year. He seems to be going through something terrible every couple days. I just wish I could help. But it feels like all I'm able to do is remind him that I love him and pray that its enough.

My dog is pitiful. He stares at nothing for hours. He sits and smells the bed where I've sprayed Matt's cologne. He tries to talk to me through barks and whining that just sound like a jumbled mess of non-words and noise. I love him, but I know he's lonely. I want to get him a friend, but I need a yard first. I wish I could get away with not paying rent for the month and just put it toward a different house next month. We'll see.