Matt has been home with me since Monday. It's now Thursday. And he's here until the twenty-sixth... Time is moving too fast. I miss having my best friend, my other half, with me within arms reach. I cannot wait for this deployment to be over and for him to come back home.
My best friend Bee is having a baby in about 5 months or so... I'm so very happy for her. She has found out she's having a boy, that his name will be Gunner Adrian, and he will be amazingly spoiled and adorable. She has been hitting the milestones I had dreamed of... Feeling the kicks, finding out the sex, deciding on the name... It makes me more and more excited to watch her get closer to becoming a mother and all that it entails, but I cant help but I can't help but wish I had gone through those same milestones when I had been pregnant.
I had a dream last night where I was told I'd never be a mother. In this dream, there was nohing wrong with me other than the fact that my body just wouldn't keep a child alive. I woke up and really just wanted to cry, but didn't want to worry Matthew. I don't know if I could handle that becoming real life.
My best friend Bee is having a baby in about 5 months or so... I'm so very happy for her. She has found out she's having a boy, that his name will be Gunner Adrian, and he will be amazingly spoiled and adorable. She has been hitting the milestones I had dreamed of... Feeling the kicks, finding out the sex, deciding on the name... It makes me more and more excited to watch her get closer to becoming a mother and all that it entails, but I cant help but I can't help but wish I had gone through those same milestones when I had been pregnant.
I had a dream last night where I was told I'd never be a mother. In this dream, there was nohing wrong with me other than the fact that my body just wouldn't keep a child alive. I woke up and really just wanted to cry, but didn't want to worry Matthew. I don't know if I could handle that becoming real life.
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