April 27th, 2010. A day I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forget. My first trimester screening was that day, a NT scan… Everything was going well until the ultrasound… the baby wasn’t moving and was missing a heartbeat. I was shocked, then devastated. The baby had stopped growing at 10 weeks and one day, four weeks prior to that day. I felt like someone had stabbed me in the heart. I laid there for another thirty minutes, some of which by myself, processing what i had been told while doctors and techs talked. Everyone was just a blur around me at that point.
Once they released me I immediately called my mother. Matt was in California for training at the time and I was unable to reach him or talk to him for another week or so. I didn’t know what else to do, when he’d know, when I’d get to see him. My parents packed and started the 8-9 hour drive from Tennessee as soon as I hung up the phone. After calling Matt’s mom and my best friend Bee, I finally went home. Later that night, after sending a Red Cross message, I got to talk to Matt. I was terrified. How was I going to tell him? After many tears, and a short conversation, we said “I love you” and hung up the phone. Under an hour later, he was being sent to an airport to come home and my parents had made it to the house.
I saw the doctor the next day, and scheduled my D&C for later that week… Once my parents left and the surgery was complete, we began to recover. It’s been a long hard road, and we’re almost at the one month point, but there’s still a lot more for us to overcome. Maybe we’ll end up pregnant before he deploys, maybe we wont… but at least we both have each other, and right now… I couldn’t ask for more
0 Comments to "Happiness is hard."