I feel small and stupid. I want to make my husband happy, to feel assured he isn't going to think that I'm an idiot and want to leave me when he comes home... but the more irritated he stays during this deployment, the less I feel like I am a helpful wife. I feel like everything I say is wrong, and just contributes to his irritation. I'm so scared that he's going to fall out of love with me, going to realize that he deserves better. I feel ridiculous thinking this way, but I can't help it. He's the best thing to ever happen to me and I can't stand the thought of it. I just want to lay in bed and cry. I think that's what I'm going to go do now. *sigh*
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